the past few days passed me by in a swirl of colours. the trip up to genting made me realise many small but significant things. and the colours of the entertainment city made everything all the more memorable, joyful and missed. the visit to the zoo and night safari rekindled my love for nature and i think these few days have been one of the happiest and most carefree days in a very long time.

it has been an eventful year though so early into it. a year of new beginnings, abrupt endings and endless learnings. and it has been a superb valentine's day. it's the first vday that i actually bothered to give effort and time to my friends. i guess all the recent events have led me to realise how important my friends really are to me whether they are close or not so close. guess everything has brought me closer to some friends and pulled me apart from others but on the whole, my life seems more balanced now. i used to let my life revolve around just one important person since years ago but i have learnt that it is not the best way to live a life.

i have been touched. many times. and deep down inside there are inklings of better tomorrows that i hope for and can almost see. it's as though some seeds have been planted and it is beginning to grow. slowly but surely.

upon hearing the news of the glenn ong jamie yeo breakup, i can't help but feel a tinge of sadness. they were the golden couple, so often celebrated and written about. he always talked about her, as though she was his world. and she always seemed the sweet girl she is to him. why. i've always envied and admired their relationship but it has turned into futile envy eventually. must all things always end this way?

love, is it really so f r a g i l e. like a piece of cheap paper, easily torn. like a piece of thin glass, easy broken. like bubbles, they burst, too soon.

i have loved so many in this life and many of them have stayed in my life and will stay throughout my life. thankful for all these blessed souls. i'm never one to regret my choices but i do regret one. one that has destroyed a wonderful friendship. maybe not destroyed but it has changed many things. i was wrong and i made it even more wrong. and two wrongs don't make one right just like two rights can't right a wrong. and so what it's been done and done and can't be undone. only times i feel the pain creep into my heart. a dull pain that can only contain a regret.

i had been foolish once and a fool can't save himself. some things once lost, can't be found again.

but blessing in disguise it must be. pulling myself out of the hole sooner than later. and returning in joyful spirit to someone. someone who cares. more. someone who loves. most. someone who gives. everything. someone who matters. who'll always matter the most to me.

still a little bit of me stuck in reverse but it is no longer the same as before. i will be liberated. in time. and i know that i will do as much to salvage whatever i have wrecked and will always treasure what i can salvage. always and always.

and i know, i must run to where it should matter.

thankyouforallthepatienceandeffortbecausewithoutyouiwouldnt
knowwhattodo.