you know, i never can really feel at ease anymore. not since i can't remember when. i fall asleep easily when there is someone lying by my side. someone. anyone. i feel a need to constantly be around people if not i know i will have the painful urge to cry. and when i sleep alone, i realise that i'd rather be awake doing nothing even though my mind and body are tired beyond words.

it's this time of the day that i feel truly alive because all the emotions are raw yet to feel alive means to feel pain. pain beyond any physical pain. tonight i realise that a dull ache that lives in your heart manifests and hurts badly. worse than any physical wounds can hurt.

i feel like just walking away from this life.