premonition. do we act on our premonition, try to hard to prevent what is to come and end up getting to the end quicker than it would have been? or is it that no matter what we do, the premonition will still come true?

sometimes we try too hard. when i had no pressure, no inferiority complex, nothing, i could do the things i never thought i could have done. but when the pressure comes and you're expected to be such, that's when you begin to realise your failures. and it gets worse.

guess i gotta just relax and be focused on trying my best. giving myself too much pressure. thinking too much. too afraid. lost my confidence.

there are incidences and experiences in life that shape your future. they can be related or unrelated. small or big. sometimes we think the big incidents leave big scars in our lives but more often than not, big incidents have to be faced. they are things that you can't run away from and when you face up to them, they can only make you better. it's the small things. the little things that you push away. that you think nothing of. little by little they exist somewhere in you and they shape your thinking and your emotions.

i know i'm better than this. i wish i could be at the start all over again. when everything was easy. everything was fun. it is easy to improve when there's nothing to your credit. but when you begin to achieve things, it is so easy to disappoint.

focused. i need to be focused.

i've found my motivation. very motivating..