i'm trying my best to understand...and it doesn't help when all i get is silence. it's hard to understand many things that go through someone else's mind and even it's being explained, it can still not be understood..yet, it'd at least feel more justified. even if i don't understand, i can still accept things easier.

because i really don't understand why.

sigh. i'm talking to myself again and it doesn't help. so what? so what?

trying very very very hard to keep my emotions in check. as i try to grapple with the things i don't understand and find so hard to accept.

i hate to sleep and dream of things that either arises out of my fears and are so exaggerated...or dreams that arise out of my hopes...that are also just wishful thinking. why can't my dreams be real? oh because then it won't be called dreams. oh well.

continue building castles in the air...as i try to put off sleeping.